Thursday, May 21, 2015
One Ring to Rule Them All!
Cocky test pilot turned intergalactic beat cop, Hal Jordan patrols his sector of the universe with only a body-hugging suit, and his green lantern ring which allows him to create constructs that are only limited by his imagination. Besides the perks of owning a seriously powerful piece of jewelry and the standard issued, body-painted uniform, every member of the core must recite the mantra: In brightest day, In blackest night, No evil shall escape my sight, Let those who worship evil's might, Beware my power, Green Lantern's light in order to recharge the power of the ring. Not the most convenient thing when your in the middle of battle. Giddy up!
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
It's a Bird, It's a Plane, it's Superman!
Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...yes, it's Superman. I don't buy that "Aw, shucks" Kansas farm-boy act. There's definitely a dark side to that chiseled chin, spit curl-haired boyscout. I figure he's actually a complete D#!%$ and is always pranking other members of the JLA or he's a certified kleptomaniac and is constantly adding to his collection in the fortress of solitude, or he has some weird vice like watching "Toddlers and Tiaras." Lates!
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Presto Change O
The Justice League's resident telepathic shape-shifter, Martian Manhunter aka J'onn J'onzz (according to Wikipedia). So what pray tell, reduces our hero into a cowering pile of tears...the bane of his existence...his one true threat...FIRE! So no, you will not see the martian partaking in the annual Justice League camp out marshmallow roast, attending Burning Man, watching the movie Backdraft, or celebrating the 4rth of July. BuhBye!
Friday, April 10, 2015
The Speedster
Thank god for the anti-friction suit, otherwise, ol' Barry's inner thighs would be constantly engulfed in flames and smoke. Picture Pig Pen from Charlie Brown, but instead of a dirt cloud there would be a billowing cloud of smoke emanating from his crotch. Not pretty!
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Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Artie the Fish Whisperer!
Although the brunt of many a joke, there is no denying the awesomeness of the King of Atlantis! Blessed with golden 80's hair-band locks, a 70's porn stache, and the sweet o' naturale aroma of fish market chum, Arthur Curry is a vital member of the Justice League...unless the crime is on land. Sushi, anyone?
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Robocop ain't got sh#%@ on me!
Victor Stone aka Cyborg, once a scientific guinea pig for mom and dad, now a freak-accident Half Man/Half Machine with a mind for justice. lates.
Friday, April 3, 2015
The Dark Knight
When he's not completely wrecking women as Bruce Wayne,
multi-billionaire playboy, or weeping uncontrollably about his dead
parents, or doing both simultaneously, he dons the cowl and a suit that
leaves little to the imagination and reigns down justice with an arsenal
of toys as the Brooding Basher of Bad Boys....BATMAN!
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